April 28, 2025 — A young South African doctor has ignited a nationwide conversation about financial abuse after bravely sharing her personal story on social media.
Dr. Celiwe Ndaba, a mother of three and a successful medical professional, revealed how she endured years of financial manipulation in her marriage, despite her thriving career. Her candid TikTok videos — often filmed during her commute — quickly went viral, resonating with thousands of South African women.
Dr. Ndaba described how she felt trapped funding her husband’s lavish lifestyle, particularly his insistence on owning a Mercedes Benz, despite the family’s financial strain. She called taking out loans for him “the worst decision” of her life. When she finally refused to continue supporting him, she said, he left the marriage.
Her estranged husband, Temitope Dada, has since denied the allegations on TikTok, calling them “lies” and using hashtags like #divorcetrauma.
Financial Abuse: A Hidden Form of Domestic Violence
Lawyer Bertus Preller explained that financial abuse — or economic abuse, as classified under South Africa’s Domestic Violence Act — is a common yet overlooked form of domestic violence. It involves controlling a partner’s financial resources to maintain dominance, often leaving victims feeling helpless and dependent.
This abuse isn’t limited to women without financial means. Experts highlight that South African women who are doctors, lawyers, and entrepreneurs are still vulnerable, especially when cultural expectations about male authority persist.
“Women’s financial independence clashes with cultural norms that prioritize male authority,” Preller said.
A study by the University of South Africa supports this, showing that female breadwinners face a significantly higher risk of intimate partner violence. Out of 10 women studied, only two remained married; the rest left due to experiences of abuse.
‘Double Patriarchy’ and the Weight of Expectations
Sociologist Nombulelo Shange of the University of the Free State pointed to a phenomenon she calls “double patriarchy”. Black South African women, she explains, face Western pressures to excel professionally while still being expected to fulfill traditional domestic roles.
“When these collide, harmful ideologies escalate,” Shange said.
This dynamic often leads successful women to feel they must support and uplift their male partners financially — even at personal cost.
Women on social media have shared how they give their male partners credit cards at restaurants so it appears that the man is paying, reinforcing outdated gender expectations.
A Call for Financial Awareness in Relationships
Dr. Ndaba emphasized the importance of discussing finance openly in relationships, warning that love should not come with an unsustainable price tag.
Somila Gogoba, a financial legal expert, advised women to protect themselves by maintaining separate bank accounts, securing PIN numbers, and regularly monitoring financial activity.
“Finance is an important aspect of people’s marriages,” Dr. Ndaba said in a recent vlog, urging women to take time to truly understand their partners’ financial habits before committing.
The broader message resonating from Dr. Ndaba’s story is clear: financial abuse is real, dangerous, and must be spoken about openly. Her bravery has inspired countless South African women to share their own stories — and to seek change.
